To Be Told That Our Child's Behavior Is "normal" Offers Little Solace When Our Feelings Are Badly Hurt, Or When We Worry That Hisactions Are Harmful At The Moment Or May Be Injurious To His Future. It Does Not Help Me As A Parent Nor Lessen My Worries When My Child Drives Carelessly, Even Dangerously, If I Am Told That This Is "normal" Behavior For Children Of His Age. I'd Much Prefer Him To Deviate From The Norm And Be A Cautious Driver!
Most Advice On Child-rearing Is Sought In The Hope That It Will Confirm Our Prior Convictions. If The Parent Had Wished To Proceedin A Certain Way But Was Made Insecure By Opposing Opinions Of Neighbors, Friends, Or Relatives, Then It Gives Him Great Comfort To Find His Ideas Seconded By An Expert.
Not Only Is Our Love For Our Children Sometimes Tinged With Annoyance, Discouragement, And Disappointment, The Same Is True For The Love Our Children Feel For Us.
As The Creative Adult Needs To Toy With Ideas, The Child, To Form His Ideas, Needs Toys--and Plenty Of Leisure And Scope To Play With Them As He Likes, And Not Just The Way Adults Think Proper. This Is Why He Must Be Given This Freedom For His Play To Be Successful And Truly Serve Him Well.
From A Child's Play, We Can Gain Understanding Of How He Sees And Construes The World--what He Would Like It To Be, What His Concerns Are, What Problems Are Besetting Him.
Since There Are Thousands Of Fairy Tales, One May Safely Guess That There Are Probably Equal Numbers Where The Courage And Determination Of Females Rescue Males, And Vice Versa.
A Parent Who From His Own Childhood Experience Is Convinced Of The Value Of Fairy Tales Will Have No Difficulty In Answering His Child's Questions; But An Adult Who Thinks These Tales Are Only A Bunch Of Lies Had Better Not Try Telling Them; He Won't Be Able To Related Them In A Way Which Would Enrich The Child's Life.
Among The Most Valuable But Least Appreciated Experiences Parenthood Can Provide Are The Opportunities It Offers For Exploring, Reliving, And Resolving One's Own Childhood Problems In The Context Of One's Relation To One's Child.
As Anna Freud Remarked, The Toddler Who Wanders Off Into Some Other Aisle, Feels Lost, And Screams Anxiously For His Mother Neversays "i Got Lost," But Accusingly Says "you Lost Me!" It Is A Rare Mother Who Agrees That She Lost Him! She Expects Her Child To Stay With Her; In Her Experience It Is The Child Who Has Lost Track Of The Mother, While In The Child's Experience It Is The Mother Who Has Lost Track Of Him. Each View Is Entirely Correct From The Perspective Of The Individual Who Holds It .
The Child Knows Only That He Engages In Play Because It Is Enjoyable. He Isn't Aware Of His Need To Play--a Need Which Has Its Source In The Pressure Of Unsolved Problems. Nor Does He Know That His Pleasure In Playing Comes From A Deep Sense Of Well-being That Is The Direct Result Of Feeling In Control Of Things, In Contrast To The Rest Of His Life, Which Is Managed By His Parents Or Other Adults.
The Fear Of Failure Is So Great, It Is No Wonder That The Desire To Do Right By One's Children Has Led To A Whole Library Of Books Offering Advice On How To Raise Them
What Children Learn From Punishment Is That Might Makes Right. When They Are Old And Strong Enough, They Will Try To Get Their Ownback; Thus Many Children Punish Their Parents By Acting In Ways Distressing To Them.
